The Pastors Wives and Church Staff - Rebekah Hannah

You didn't get hired. You don't have a job description. But somehow you carry real emotional weight, absorb the tensions of church life, and sit in a uniquely complicated position relative to the staff your husband leads. How do you build genuine friendships with the people who work alongside him — without overstepping, without being transactional, and without losing yourself in a role no one ever quite defined?

In this recorded teaching, Rebekah Hannah — president of Anchored Virtual, staff member at Redeemer Lincoln Square in New York City, and pastor's daughter — addresses one of the most nuanced relational territories a pastor's wife navigates: how to relate to church staff well.

Becca walks through five areas of practical wisdom:

• Understanding your role — Scripture is silent on the category of "pastor's wife" not as an oversight, but as a freedom; your calling is to faithful presence, not positional authority
• Encouragement without overreach — the difference is simple but clarifying: encouragement is influence rooted in humility, overreach is influence rooted in control
• Building authentic friendships — real friendships develop over time, not because of proximity to position; and loyalty to Jesus, not to you, is what makes someone a good friend
• Walking with discernment — eyes open, not arms crossed; watching others with wisdom, not for weaknesses; and learning to tell a bulletin problem from an FBI problem
• Navigating the tensions — what to do when you see something concerning, when staff avoid you, when comparison creeps in, and when the church has a staff of 25 or a staff of none

The session also includes a lively Q&A on: how to keep staff from treating you like unpaid help, how to develop friendships without appearing cliquish, what to do when people want to be close to you in order to get closer to your husband, and how any of this changes if you actually are on staff yourself.